My
project has become a way of life now, I
wake up with it on my mind, I
work on it all day and go to bed thinking about it! It is
amazing
how it has taken over my life, I am not so much a musician or artist,
more a "projecteer". It is however, totally absorbing in the best sense
of the word, even if no one out there is reading this, or nobody views
or hears the work, I would still think that it has been worthwhile! It
is completely fascinating to commit oneself in this way, I also
committed (without realising or thinking about it at the time) my wife
Trudi to the project, she has encouraged and supported me from the
start. It is true to say that I could not have kept going without her.
My close family, good friends and colleagues, musicians and artists,
have also helped me get this far. A musician friend said to me this
week that I must sometimes feel like a "round the world solo
yachtsman"
I found that very funny but also perceptive. I say all this not just as
a thank you, but also because it is so
interesting and often humbling where a project like this can lead.
One of my reasons for starting
this project was to force
myself myself to produce work on a regular
basis. I am one of the worlds worst procrastinators, and I suppose my
project is a self help cure! I also liked the idea that each week I
would have to start again and think afresh, in that way I felt maybe
some of the artists obsession could be made, less obsessive. Six
months into the project, I still don't feel as if I have got control of
the process, and I certainly haven't cured any obsessions. I am sure
that it has taught me a thing or two about procrastination, but then
again I am yearning to get off the treadmill and take more time over
some of my work.
The thing is, I am not a
composer and I'm not a
painter. I am a performing bass player, and an imagining
artist.
So my project I think is also about seeing if I can do anything else.
Looking back on the last six months work, I am surprised how
much of it I like, I'm not even going to consider if any of it is any
good, but I can listen to, and look at a lot of it without
embarrassment.
Securing the exhibition at St
Martin in the Fields has given me a huge boost, and in a way validated
the project for me. In other ways it has changed the work because now I
have the exhibition in my mind I can't help but imagine each piece in
that space.
I am still not not sure how I
feel about the validity of linking visual art and
music, when I was at art school I always wanted to produce mixed media
work combining sound and visual textures, I never did of course, and
thirty odd years later
this is my first serious attempt. I don't think I have got anywhere
near what I
imagined in those college days with this project! It is a different
thing though, almost abstract internal documentation, if that doesn't
sound too pompous, actually I think it does. It is just me
composing and playing a weekly piece of music, and painting a weekly
painting.
The day to day mechanics of
producing the music in particular, have continued to be a
complete nightmare, composing and playing it, is by comparison, easy. Recording and getting the music on to
the website, is often a
disaster area. I don't really understand why and that I suppose is the
reason it happens.
The main practical problem with
the visual art is logistical, just lack of time to develop each
work. Because of the music production and
computer problems, I waste so much time which could be
more productively used. I keep telling myself I am learning useful
things, but I don't think I will ever be a recording engineer or
computer boffin, (or understand colour come to that, but that is a
different story).
Artistically
the biggest problem is having confidence in simplicity or brevity.
Matisse called it "the audacity of simplicity" (thank you Clare for
telling me that). It
is very difficult to say "this week I want to use one line and one
note", it is very easy to over elaborate and lose the point, or even
the whole plot! I hope that I have the confidence to produce one note
and one line before the year is out.
Still, I am getting the work out
each week and still hugely enjoying it. As
always, thanks to you all for your love, best wishes and encouragement.
You are listening to the music from week 12
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